Ok, so I guess I will start with this....when did we all get so damn old?
I went to my 10 year high school reunion last week, and let's just say this...the years were not kind to many. The skinny girls now looked like defensive tackles for the Chicago Bears. Some girls who were "all that" in high school were still living off their past glory days when they once were cheerleaders and voted prom queen. Pretty pathetic....I thought the only people who went to high school reunions were the girls and guys that had something to prove.
I'm still pretty hot for being 28. I don't look like a coked out version of my youth like most of these guant looking ex cheerleaders that flooded this reunion. I still have a reason to take care on myself because I'm single (unlike these haggered looking women who have kids). I'm even still the same size as I was in high school with exception to having a really huge rack. While these girls were living off of their past high school fame and getting knocked up by random white trash, I was working my ass off in college.
Needless to say... I walked into this reunion, and I owned it. I had girls coming-up to me in the bathroom telling me how beautiful I was. I had guys fully equipped with wives hitting on me right in front of them. It felt good, but I couldn't help feel bad for the women that saw their husbands flirting with me. Yah, I felt bad for about 5 seconds and flirted back. Flirting is harmless to me...I'm no homewrecker.
Times like these I wonder why I'm still single. I have had many relationships, but only one that I really cared about. And like all good things, it ended. To this day, I am still scratching my head over when and why it went from so great to nothing in no time at all. I guess when you have great fire and passion, it leaves you burnt out. I guess somewhere along the lines I stopped believing in love. Well, at least that's what I tell myself. Funny, while all of those women with 30 extra lbs. were admiring me and my life at the reunion....I was pretty envious of theirs. I do want kids and a great husband, but sometimes I feel like that's not in the cards for me. Somehow us girls always seem to fuck it all up. Well, at least this girl does.
I will tell you what they say is true... Hot girls are usually the crazy ones. Why? Girls that are hot at my age were not always beautiful. A lot of us grew-up under a cloud of awkward. Frankly, at our age...most of us aren't comfortable in our own skin. We know we are pretty, but we don't believe it in the same sense. We fake our confidence like we fake an orgasim. It's believable, but it isn't doing anything for us. We are the most mixed-up, emotional, and conflicted women out there. Why do you think ugly, fat girls get married first? They know they are never going to be anything but ugly and fat so they take what they can get. For a hot girl, we aren't satisfied. We want it all. With wanting everything, we end-up getting nothing. We use our beauty to get what we want, but we become angry and jaded because we know that we are more than just looks. We want a guy to see us for our hearts and our crazy quirks, but all he sees is big boobs. Why? Because we advertise it to make us feel sexy. If we don't have attention, it is like being that awkward girl back in high school that kept to herself the entire time. Where's the fun in that? So we are art in the real world. People see it and say that it's beautiful, but only a very few stop to appreciate it and see more than what is on the surface. We are waitng for that person.....
